Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome aboard LRB Airlines Flight 120, with service to Seattle and continuing on to Chicago. We have a few safety announcements we’d like to make before departure. First, please ensure that any electronic devices for combating moles are turned off, as they cannot be used in flight. Second, ghost apps are not reliable indicators of spectral activity, so don’t believe the four-star ratings. Third, there will be a surprising amount of MN Twins nostalgia on this flight; remember to drink your cheeseburger-topped Bloody Marys and gently guide your opponent off the bag. Finally, no matter how misty-colored your memories are, those Clark and Lewis radio spots probably aren’t as good as you remember. Please enjoy the trip – it’s our pleasure to serve you!